Post Mortem

Well, all things considered, Thanksgiving was a big hit at Casa de Bastard. The roll call was: my mother-in-law, father-in-law, brother-in-law & sister-in-law and their son TJ, my daughter Carol and her husband Matt, my daughter Sara D. and her fiance John, and Miss Allyssa.

The Blonde worked her ass off all day long getting shit ready. I cleaned the back patio with some assistance from The Blonde. I figured the smokers in the family would appreciate having a nice clean place to pollute their lungs.

Of course the Cowboy’s game was on. Holy shit! Is that Tony Romo the real deal, or what?!? My daughter Sara is a huge football fan. NOT!!! But this year she didn’t bust my balls too much about it. Her future husband is a Texan too, so I think she has made her peace with having to learn how to live with football in her life.

Dinner went off without a hitch. The turkey and ham both were great. She may be an occasional pain in the ass, but The Blonde is a damned good cook. We had deviled eggs, celery with squirty cheese in it, stuffing, gravy, mashed taters, and chex mix for snacks. If anyone didn’t get their fill in this house it was their own damned fault.

After the meal we sat down and played some Yahtzee. I’ll be damned if it didn’t look like everyone had a good time. AHHHHH!!! I love it, a holiday with no drama! I’ve never had any holiday drama’s since I have been hooked up with The Blonde, but it was a required part of the holidays when I was growing up. It was what it was.

All that being said, I hope everyone had a good one too. Next stop: Christmas. Oh fuck, please shoot me. If it weren’t for the little kids in the fam, I’d just as soon skip it. Anyways, happy holidays folks.

Thanksgiving Chuckle, 11/23/06

One year at Thanksgiving, my mom went to my sister’s house for the traditional feast. Knowing how gullible my sister is, my mom decided to play a trick. She told my sister that she needed something from the store. When my sister left, my mom took the turkey out of the oven, removed the stuffing, stuffed a Cornish hen, and inserted it into the turkey, and re-stuffed the turkey. She then placed the bird(s) back in the oven. When it was time for dinner, my sister pulled the turkey out of the oven and proceeded to remove the stuffing. When her serving spoon hit something, she reached in and pulled out the little bird. With a look of total shock on her face, my mother exclaimed, “Patricia, you’ve cooked a pregnant bird!” At the reality of this horrifying news, my sister started to cry.

It took the family two hours to convince her that turkeys lay eggs!

Yep………………SHE’S BLONDE!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Be good, and if you can’t, be good at it! Mark

Our troops.

I followed this link over on LL’s site, and it gave me an even deeper appreciation for our military. It’s a long read, and it sure isn’t something you will typically hear in the mainstream media. However, it is well worth your time. Congrats to GQ for having the balls to publish it.

Give our young men and women in uniform your love and your prayers, cause they damned sure need both.

HUH?!?!?

From the “you have to be shitting me” files, this little pearl from the University of Arizona. Man, is our society fucked up, or what?

Temporary disaster.

Stuff like this really pisses me off. Government idiots! Your tax dollars at work, ladies and gentlemen.

Hell yeah!!!

Congratulations to my Frenship Tigers for winning the 2006 District 4-4A championship by putting a first class ass whipping on the Estacado Matadors, 31-10! The boys finished the regular season with an 8-2 overall record, and a perfect 4-0 in district play. Way to go Tigers! Way to go Coach Davis! Next stop: state playoffs. Give ‘em hell guys!

And yes, it is spelled F-r-e-n-s-h-i-p. And yes, we love our HS football in Texas!

Veterans Day

I would like to take a moment to personally thank all of the young men and women in uniform who serve to protect my right to freedom. I would also like to single out, and say a special thanks to a few special folks; Gene Kenley, my grandfather, God rest his soul, fought in WW2; Otis “Rip” Mears, my great-grandfather, God rest his soul, fought in WW1; my cousin, Dale Earnest Badgley, God rest his soul, who fought and died in Vietnam; my brother, CW2 Daniel Lisenbee, who fought in Iraq, my best friend SMSgt John McCarthy, who was serving in Saudi Arabia and was in the Khobar Towers when they were blown up; my oldest friend TSgt Keith Jones, who flew AWACS missions in both Afghanistan, and Iraq. To all of you, I say THANK YOU and Bravo Zulu!!!!

Friday Chuckle 11/10/06

A man wants to have his penis enlarged so he goes to a specialist who recommends a new procedure of attaching an elephant trunk to the end of the penis. The man goes for it and has a humongous penis. One day, while eating dinner at his girlfriends, his penis reaches up from under the table, grabs a bun and slides back down under the table. The girlfriend is amazed. “That’s incredible”, she says, “Can you do it again?” The man replies, “I’d love to, but I don’t think my ass can handle another bun right now”.

I don’t care who you are, that is some funny shit!

Happy Birthday Sara D!!!

Hard to believe that you are 22 today. Even harder to believe you are getting married next year! I hope you have a fantastic day. I love you with all of my heart! Happy birthday honey!

Yer gonna do what?!?

As almost all of you know, I am garnished the very hefty sum of $756 a month for child support for one child. I was always under the impression that you cannot be double garnished. Imagine my fucking shock when I opened my last pay check to find it almost $500 short. WTF???? Yes, boys and girls, you can be double garnished in the great state of Oregon if it involves state taxes. Fuck me in the neck with….well…..with something!!! Apparently the state of Oregon is the only one that can double up on you, garnishment wise. If it was just a creditor, sorry about their luck, but good ‘ol Oregon can break it off in your ass a little more. God I hate this fucking state.