Archive for April, 2006

No shit!

Posted in General on April 30, 2006 by bofh69

I went to the gas station today and asked for five dollars worth of gas.

The clerk farted and gave me a receipt.

Hat tip to Yankee.


Posted in General on April 29, 2006 by bofh69

Holy shit! What a day! I accomplished almost everything I wanted to today. Garden tilled, CHECK! Garden planted, CHECK! Oil in the Bastardmobile changed, CHECK! Oil changed in The Blondemobile, CHECK! I did not, however, get around to changing the locks on the house. I just didn't think I could physically or emotionally handle dealing with the 12,341,234,879,865,434 geriatric mo-fros at Home Depot (no, Pauline wasn't one of them, she was at home with me) this afternoon in order to purchase the locks… ass was dragging.

I'm happy I got the big projects done (with help from The Blonde and the father in law), but I am so glad it is over. I'm SO damned tired. I tend to forget that I am not a kid anymore, even though I act like one most of the time. I have been driving a frickin' desk for the last 10 years. Driving a desk for that long doesn't lend itself to keeping oneself in shape for doing all day outdoor activity. I'll be the physical equivalent of hamburger meat tomorrow, I'm sure.

Note to self: Yes Mark, you are 38 years old and can't hang with the kids anymore.


Posted in Technology on April 29, 2006 by bofh69

The money whores in Redmond are tapping a new market

Project day.

Posted in General on April 29, 2006 by bofh69

The following is on this Bastard's agenda for the day:

1. Oil changes in both cars (yep, I do it myself).

2. Go rent a tiller and get my garden tilled up.

3. Plant said garden.

4. Change door locks on the back and front doors. Looks like some bastard has been trying to jimmy the back lock with a screwdriver. If it's The Blonde's ex, he best be aware that if he gets caught I'll shoot him dead, no questions asked.

5. Fall over dead at the end of the day.

So, needless to say, posting will be lite.

Windows XP stuff.

Posted in Technology on April 29, 2006 by bofh69

Geek alert. Some cool tweaks for XP.

Disclaimer: If you do any of these and screw your machine up, sorry about your luck. Don't call me. 

Happy Birthday Hippy Joe*!

Posted in Family on April 28, 2006 by bofh69

Happy Birthday Dad!!!! I love you very much and I hope you had a great day today!!! Sorry I couldn't have killed a case of beer, or two, with you today. If you weren't good today, I hope you were good at it. 

*Hippy Joe: nickname given to Dad when he was working the Alaska pipeline in the 70's 

Friday Chuckle 4/28/06

Posted in Friday Chuckles on April 28, 2006 by bofh69

A very elderly but bright-eyed gentleman, very well dressed, hair well groomed, great looking suit, flower in his lapel smelling slightly of after shave, walks into an upscale cocktail lounge. Seated at the bar is an elderly looking lady tricked out in a modest but very becoming cocktail dress. The gentleman walks over, sits alongside of her, orders a drink, turns to her and says, "So tell me, do I come here often?"