Archive for March, 2010

Friday Chuckle, 3-26-10

Posted in Friday Chuckles on March 26, 2010 by bofh69

Hat tip to Mom.

March 26, 2010

WALK NAKED IN AMERICA DAY

As you may already know, it is a sin for Muslim males to see any woman other than his wife naked and if he does, he must commit suicide.   So next Saturday at 1 PM Eastern Time, all American women are asked to walk out of their house completely naked to help weed out any neighborhood terrorists.

Circling your block for one hour is recommended for this anti-terrorist effort.

All patriotic men are to position themselves in lawn chairs in front of their houses to demonstrate their support for the women and to prove that they are not Muslim terrorist sympathizers.   Since Islam also does not approve of alcohol, a cold 6-pack at your side is further proof of your patriotism.

The American government appreciates your efforts to root out terrorists and applauds your participation in this anti-terrorist activity.

God bless America!

Big shock!

Posted in Politics on March 25, 2010 by bofh69

Stole it from Theo.

I want to move to Mars!

Posted in General on March 24, 2010 by bofh69

A rant by one of my best friends, Sparky:

To tell you the truth, I haven’t watched the news since 9-11. And it was a good year or so before then that I had stopped. I voted using the School House Rock website because I didn’t care enough to sort thru all the bullshit that people are calling news these days. I honestly don’t think anyone that gets voted in will fix anything that affects me personally, but they sure will eff shit up if they get an opportunity. (You know the other guy would be screwing something  up by now if he only had the chance.) That first time home buyers credit? Yeah – I got fucked. That second time home buyers credit? Fucked again. Lower your mortgage? Fucked. Food stamps? Fucked. Assistance with utilities? Guess… Oh you know already. I would love to get a second job, but what about all the poor fuckers who don’t have jobs now? 10.5% for Oregonians I hear. How can I have faith in a system that makes it so difficult for me to put food on the table as a single mom, but uses my hard earned tax dollars to pay for God-only-knows-how-many-people to buy Doritos and candy bars at 7-11. A system where I pay for criminals to be housed and clothed when I can hardly afford my own monthly mortgage and school clothes for my child once a year (God willing she doesn’t grow out of them). Where as a country, we import seafood from overseas that is riddled with poisons and toxins and is actually raised in sewage because it’s cheaper (even tho we have an abundance of seafood at our fingertips). A system where the Post Office can legally auction off and make a profit from packages that have been deemed non-deliverable, but they will tell you that it’s still in Tampa, FL. Where every year some flu epidemic scare sweeps the nation so that some Government bailed out company can make bank with immunizations – causing the peoples immune systems to degenerate even further, making us more susceptible to disease. A country where Americans go hungry and homeless so that we can pay for illegal immigrants to have more babies, drive shiny new lowered SUV’s and suck off the system. Where we  will  house murders and rapists for life instead of doing what should be done to them. Where we have salmonella scares because tomatoes from Mexico are cheaper. Where stupid people are allowed to sue restaurants for becoming overweight and spilling coffee on themselves. Where sex offenders are released back into the public. Where no one really gives a shit about anyone or anything when it matters, yet everyone has their noses all up in everyone’s business when it shouldn’t matter. Where everyone wants the next pill or fad to be skinny because that’s what the media says your should be, yet you continue to eat like shit and say it’s “too hard” to exercise. Where schools are underfunded and government agencies are lining their pockets with our hard earned money. I do realize that in America I have many rights as an American, but as of this moment, I can’t think of one that is going to make me feel any better about the news and the government and all the shit that is going around lately. **sighs** Ok, sorry – I had to rant. No real reason, just sort of fed up and wanting to move to mars. I found this (below) online and wanted to share. I like my healthcare just the way it is by the way. And I still need to read up on how both that and the credit card act thingy is going to affect me 😦

~SPARKY~~~

This morning I was awoken by my alarm clock powered by electricity generated by the public power monopoly regulated by the US Department of Energy. I then took a shower in the clean water provided by the municipal water utility. After that, I turned on the TV to one of the FCC regulated channels to see what the National Weather Service of the National Oceanographic and Atmospheric Administration determined the weather was going to be like using satellites designed, built, and launched by the National Aeronautics and Space Administration. I watched this while eating breakfast of US Department of Agriculture inspected food and taking the drugs which have been determined as safe by the Food and Drug Administration.

At the appropriate time as regulated by the US Congress and kept accurate by the National Institute of Standards and Technology and the US Naval Observatory. I get into my National Highway Traffic Safety Administration approved automobile and set out to work on the roads built by the local, state, and federal departments of transportation, possibly stopping to purchase additional fuel of a quality level determined by the Environmental Protection Agency, using legal tender issued by the Federal Reserve bank. On the way out the door I deposit any mail I have to send via the US Postal Service and drop the kids off at the public school.

After work, I drive my NHTSA car back home on the DOT roads, to a house which has not burned down in my absence because of the state and local building codes and fire marshal’s inspection, and which has not been plundered of all its valuables thanks to the local police department.

I then log on to the internet which was developed by the Defense Advanced Research Projects Administration and post on freerepublic.com and Fox News forums about how SOCIALISM in medicine is BAD because the government can’t do anything right.

The new Jeffrey Dahmer burger from Carl’s Jr.

Posted in General on March 23, 2010 by bofh69

Because my buddy Geoff is a sick fuck and come up with the idea, and because I am a sick fuck too:

Meet your new primary care physician:

Posted in General, Politics on March 23, 2010 by bofh69

Wonder if this is covered by Obamacare?

Posted in Politics on March 23, 2010 by bofh69

Hat tip to JC.

Coolest mailbox in Texas.

Posted in General on March 22, 2010 by bofh69

I WANT ONE!!!