Archive for July, 2010

It might be a stretch, it might not.

Posted in Politics on July 31, 2010 by bofh69

A beer and cynicism fueled random thought: What if Obama suspends the Constitution and institutes national martial law before the 2012 election? Nothing the ‘Douchebag in Chief’ does surprises me anymore, and that wouldn’t surprise me either. Keep your guns clean, and your powder dry. You’re going to need them.

Smile.

Posted in General on July 31, 2010 by bofh69

I would love to get my pistol engraved like this:

H/T to Hippy Joe.

This shit is epic!

Posted in General on July 31, 2010 by bofh69

A dispute between neighbors:

A town councillor in Wales, Mark Easton, had a beautiful view of the mountains, until a new neighbour purchased the land below his house and built a new home.  The new home was 18 inches higher than the planning department had approved, so Mark Easton, mad about his lost view, went to the local authority to make sure they enforced the roof line height. The new neighbor had to drop the roof height, at great expense. Recently, Mark Easton called the planning dept, and informed them that his new neighbor had installed some vents on the side of his new property. Mark didn’t like the look of these vents and asked the planning dept to investigate. When they went to Mark’s home to see what the vents looked like, this is what they found…

The Local Authority said the vents can stay since there is no planning law referring to shutter design.

I’ll be damned, I didn’t know they had rednecks in England. I guess busy-body douchebags aren’t an American invention after all. Serves the prick right for being a nit-pick.

UPDATE: My buddy JC informs me this happened in Utah.

The Bastard

H/T to Roy.

Rate the babe, 7-31-10

Posted in Rate the babe on July 31, 2010 by bofh69

Tell me what ya think:

Continue reading

Friday Chuckle, 7-30-10

Posted in Friday Chuckles on July 30, 2010 by bofh69

After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, New York scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 100 years and came to the conclusion, that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 100 years ago.

Not to be outdone by the New Yorkers, in the weeks that followed, a California archaeologist dug to a depth of 20 feet, and shortly after, a story in the LA Times read: ” California archaeologists, finding of 200 year old copper wire, have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network a hundred years earlier than the New Yorkers”

One week later. A local newspaper in Texas reported the following: “After digging as deep as 30 feet in his pasture near College Station, Texas , Bubba, a self-taught archaeologist and Texas Aggie, reported that he found absolutely nothing. Bubba has therefore concluded that 300 years ago, Texas had already gone wireless”.

Just makes a person proud to live in Texas , don’t it?

25 things about to become extinct.

Posted in General on July 30, 2010 by bofh69

I wonder if any of these things will go away in my lifetime. My comments will be in italics.

25. U.S. Post Office: They are pricing themselves out of existence. With e-mail, and online services they are a relic of the past. (refer to #9) Packages are also sent faster and cheaper with UPS. Like anything else ran by the federal gooferment; FAIL!

24. Yellow Pages: This year will be pivotal for the global Yellow Pages industry.  Much like newspapers, print Yellow Pages will continue to bleed dollars to their various digital counterparts, from Internet Yellow Pages (IYPs), to local search engines and combination search/listing services like Reach Local and Yodel Factors like an acceleration of the print ‘fade rate’ and the looming recession will contribute to the onslaught. One research firm predicts the falloff in usage of newspapers and print Yellow Pages could even reach 10% this year — much higher than the 2%-3% fade rate seen in past years. Good fucking riddance. I hate a phone book almost as much as I hate the evil one.

23. Classified Ads: The Internet has made so many things obsolete that newspaper classified ads might sound like just another trivial item on a long list. But this is one of those harbingers of the future that could signal the end of civilization as we know it.  The argument is that if newspaper classifieds are replaced by free online listings at sites like Craigslist.org and Google Base, then newspapers are not far behind them. This I think will bother me some. I remember when I was a little kid going through the classified ads with my Papaw. I still do it to this day. A tradition I’d rather not see go away.

22. Movie Rental Stores: While Netflix is looking up at the moment, Blockbuster keeps closing store locations by the hundreds. It still has about 6,000 left across the world, but those keep dwindling and the stock is down considerably in 2008, especially since the company gave up a quest of Circuit City . Movie Gallery, which owned the Hollywood Video brand, closed up shop earlier this year. Countless small video chains and mom-and-pop stores have given up the ghost already. Fucking Hollywood Video packed their shit and moved out of here in the middle of the night without so much as a, “Oh, by the way, we are closing our shit up.” Douchebags. I like Netflix just fine.

21. Dial-up Internet Access: Dial-up connections have fallen from 40% in 2001 to 10% in 2008. The combination of an infrastructure to accommodate affordable high speed Internet connections and the disappearing home phone have all but pounded the final nail in the coffin of dial-up Internet access. I have told the wife if we ever get in dire enough financial straits to where we can’t afford our broadband service, I DON’T WANT internet at all. Dial-up blows chunks.

20. Phone Land Lines: According to a survey from the National Center for Health Statistics, at the end of 2007, nearly one in six homes was cell-only and, of those homes that had land lines, one in eight only received calls on their cells. We still have a home phone, but it is digital voice through Comcast. I like it just fine. Unlimited national long distance and the quality is on par with a land line.

19. Chesapeake Bay Blue Crabs: Maryland ‘s icon, the blue crab, has been fading away in Chesapeake Bay . Last year Maryland saw the lowest harvest (22 million pounds) since 1945. Just four decades ago the bay produced 96 million pounds. The population is down 70% since 1990, when they first did a formal count. There are only about 120 million crabs in the bay and they think they need 200 million for a sustainable population. Over-fishing, pollution, invasive species and global warming get the blame. I wish I could say I give a shit, but I don’t. On second thought, I don’t wish anything, I just don’t give a fuck.

18. VCRs: For the better part of three decades, the VCR was a best-seller and staple in every American household until being completely decimated by the DVD, and now the Digital Video Recorder (DVR). In fact, the only remnants of the VHS age at your local Wal-Mart or Radio Shack are blank VHS tapes these days. Pre-recorded VHS tapes are largely gone and VHS decks are practically nowhere to be found. They served us so well. They were the shit back in the day. Now, not so much. Good riddance.

17. Ash Trees: In the late 1990’s, a pretty, iridescent green species of beetle, now known as the emerald ash borer, hitched a ride to North America with ash wood products imported from eastern Asia . In less than a decade, its larvae have killed millions of trees in the Midwest , and continue to spread. They’ve killed more than 30 million ash trees in southeastern Michigan alone, with tens of millions more lost in Ohio and Indiana . More than 7.5 billion ash trees are currently at risk. Very much like the crabs, I don’t fucking care. I probably should, but I don’t.

16. Ham Radio: Amateur radio operators enjoy personal (and often worldwide) wireless communications with each other and are able to support their communities with emergency and disaster communications if necessary, while increasing their personal knowledge of electronics and radio theory. However, proliferation of the Internet and its popularity among youth has caused the decline of amateur radio. In the past five years alone, the number of people holding active ham radio licenses has dropped by 50,000, even though Morse Code is no longer a requirement. This one makes me a bit sad. I am not a Ham geek, but I have always been interested in it. It’ll never completely go away, cause geeks like my buddy JC won’t let it.

15. The Swimming Hole: Thanks to our litigious society, swimming holes are becoming a thing of the past. ’20/20′ reports that swimming hole owners, like Robert Every in High Falls, NY, are shutting them down out of worry that if someone gets hurt they’ll sue.  And that’s exactly what happened in Seattle The city of Bellingham was sued by Katie Hofstetter who was paralyzed in a fall at a popular swimming hole in Whatcom Falls Park . As injuries occur and lawsuits follow, expect more swimming holes to post ‘Keep out!’ signs. Ah, the swimming hole. Had some good times when I was a teenager at the local swimming holes. Definitely one I’d like to see hang around. Why I don’t know; you can’t get a kid today to get off their fucking ass, get out from in front of their computer, or PS3, or Wii and go outside and have some real fun. Whatever happened to the day when you heard a mom say, “You best get your ass outside and play or you are going to have some serious problems?”

14. Answering Machines: The increasing disappearance of answering machines is directly tied to No 20 our list — the decline of landlines.  According to USA Today, the number of homes that only use cell phones jumped 159% between 2004 and 2007.  It has been particularly ba d in New York ; since 2000, landline usage has dropped 55%. It’s logical that as cell phones rise, many of them replacing traditional landlines, that there will be fewer answering machines. Voicemail is a definite improvement over answering machines. Good riddance.

13. Cameras That Use Film: It doesn’t require a statistician to prove the rapid disappearance of the film camera in America  Just look to companies like Nikon, the professional’ s choice for quality camera equipment.  In 2006, it announced that it would stop making film cameras, pointing to the shrinking market — only 3% of i ts sales in 2005, compared to 75% of sales from digital cameras and equipment. I did not appreciate how much digital camera technology had improved until I purchased a Rebel XSi for the wife two years ago. If you can take pictures like that with a digital, who gives a fuck if film cameras die?

12. Incandescent Bulbs: Before a few years ago, the standard 60-watt (or, yikes, 100-watt) bulb was the mainstay of every U.S. home. With the green movement and all-things-sustainable-energy crowd, the Compact Fluorescent Lightbulb (CFL) is largely replacing the older, Edison-era incandescent bulb. The EPA reports that 2007 sales for Energy Star CFLs nearly doubled from 2006, and these sales accounted for approximately 20 percent of the U.S. light bulb market. And according to USA Today, a new energy bill plans to phase out incandescent bulbs in the next four to 12 years. I am NOT a fan of CFL bulbs. They cast a yellow light, don’t radiate at their rated wattage and, in my opinion, are generally a waste of your dead presidents. Gonna be sorry to see the incandescents go.

11. Stand-Alone Bowling Alleys: Bowling Balls. US claims there are still 60 million Americans who bowl at least once a year, but many are not bowling in stand-alone bowling alleys. Today most new bowling alleys are part of facilities for all types or recreation including laser tag, go-karts, bumper cars, video game arcades, climbing walls and glow miniature golf.  Bowling lanes also have been added to many non-traditional venues such as adult communities, hotels and resorts, and gambling casinos. This is another one I am sad to see fading away. Another iconic 50’s institution in the crapper.

10. The Milkman: According to the U.S. Department of Agriculture, in 1950, over half of the milk delivered was to the home in quart bottles, by 1963, it was about a third and by 2001, it represented only 0.4% percent. Nowadays most milk is sold through supermarkets in gallon jugs. The steady decline in home-delivered milk is blamed, of course, on the rise of the supermarket, better home refrigeration and longer-lasting milk. Although some milkmen still make the rounds in pockets of the U.S. , they are certainly a dying breed. I’d be willing to bet there are husbands all over this country that think this isn’t such a bad thing.

9. Hand-Written Letters: In 2006, the Radicati Group estimated that, worldwide, 183 billion e-mails were sent each day..  Two million each second. By November of 2007, an estimated 3.3 billion Earthlings owned cell phones, and 80% of the world’s population had access to ce ll phone coverage. In 2004, half-a-trillion text messages were sent, and the number has no doubt increased exponentially since then. So where amongst this gorge of gabble is there room for the elegant, polite hand-written letter? Do not even get me started on hand writing a letter. I hand wrote a letter earlier this year to a special person in my life. I got about half way done with it and realized I COULDN’T READ IT!!!  I swear it looked like it was in Klingon; “AGHRR ESPCCCCCC, GLAAAAAAAAG DRRKUUUUUUS”,  or some such shit. Fuck hand writing a letter. I can type 20 letters to every hand written one. If folks get butt hurt about it, fuck ’em.

8. Wild Horses: It is estimated that 100 years ago, as many as two million horses were roaming free within the United State s .  In 2001, National Geographic News estimated that the wild horse population has decreased to about 50,000 head. Currently, the National Wild Horse and Burro Advisory board states that there are 32,000 free roaming horses in ten Western states, with half of them residing in Nevada . The Bureau of Land Management is seeking to reduce the total number of free range horses to 27,000, possibly by selective euthanasia. This is incredibly sad to me. The mustang is a wonderous animal. The fact that BLM is thinking of using euthanasia to cull the herd is infuriating to me. Reference #25, “Like anything else ran by the federal gooferment; FAIL!”

7. Personal Checks: According to an American Bankers Assoc. report, a net 23% of consumers plan to decrease their use of checks over the next two years, while a net 14% plan to increase their use of PIN debit. Bill payment remains the last stronghold of paper-based payments — for the time being. Checks continue to be the most commonly used bill payment method, with 71% of consumers paying at least one recurring bill per month by writing a check. However, a bill-by-bill basis, checks account for only 49% of consumers’ recurring bill payments (down from 72% in 2001 and 60% in 2003). Yeah, so what?! Good riddance.

6. Drive-in Theaters: During the peak in 1958, there were more than 4,000 drive-in theaters in this country, but in 2007 only 405 drive-ins were still operating.  Exactly zero new drive-ins have been built since 2005. Only one reopened in 2005 and five reop ened in 2006, so there isn’t much of a movement toward reviving the closed ones. Now this one bothers me a bunch. I am old enough to remember when going to a walk-in theater was a novelty. You ALWAYS went to a drive-in when I was a kid. You could bring your own snacks, drinks, lawn chairs….the whole works. Back then, going to a movie was an experience that didn’t involve listening to some dumb son of a bitch’s cell phone going off when you just got done watching fourteen spots before the movie about “Be courteous, turn your fucking cell phone off.”  This makes me sad and nostalgic.

5. Mumps & Measles: Despite what’s been in the news lately, the measles and mumps actually, truly are disappearing from the United State s ..  In 1964, 212,000 cases of mumps were reported in the U.S. By 1983, this figure had dropped to 3,000, thanks to a vigorous
vaccination program. Prior to the introduction of the measles vaccine, approximately half a million cases of measles were reported in the U.S. annually, resulting in 450 deaths. In 2005, only 66 cases were recorded. Um, well, good. Statistically you appear to be kicking these two diseases in the ass. Good on ya. Question: Is your cure making a tougher bug that you smart fellers can’t kill? Seriously, people wonder why we have flu strains that nothing will touch, strep throat that none of our conventional drugs will touch….it is because you douchebags are forcing the organisms to adapt. Just sayin’. Keeping people from dying is a good thing, not paying attention to the possible ramifications is medical ineptitude.

4. Honey Bees: Perhaps nothing on our list of disappearing America is so dire; plummeting so enormously; and so necessary to the survival of our food supply as the honey bee.  Very scary. ‘Colony Collapse Disorder,’ or CCD, has spread throughout the U.S. and Europe over the past few years, wiping out 50% to 90% of the colonies of many beekeepers — and along with it, their livelihood. I have done quite a bit of reading on this. The general consensus in this country appears to be, ” fuck it, they are just bees.” Gang this is BAD, BAD, BAD. I suggest you take some time and do some research on why these little critters are important to our ecosystem. Google is your friend.

3. News Magazines and TV News: While the TV evening newscasts haven’t gone anywhere over the last several decades, their audiences have.  In 1984, in a story about the diminishing returns of the evening news, the New York Times reported that all three network evening-news programs combined had only 40.9 million viewers.  Fast forward to 2008, and what they have today is half that. BIG FUCKING DEAL!! The sumbitches are all a bunch of lying, manipulative pricks. You want to know what is going on in this country of any truly significant importance? Ignore your nightly news. Give Drudge Report or WND a look. You’ll come a hell of a lot closer to getting the truth than you will from the alphabet networks.

2. Analog TV: According to the Consumer Electronics Association, 85% of homes in the U.S. get their television programming through cable or satellite providers.  For the remaining 15% — or 13 million individuals — who are using rabbit ears or a large outdoor antenna to get their local stations, change is in the air.  If you are one of these people you’ll need to get a new TV or a converter box in order to get the new stations which will only be broadcast in digital. So? Been there, done that. Technology changes; get used to it.

1. The Family Farm: Since the 1930’s, the number of family farms has been declining rapidly. According to the USDA, 5.3 million farms dotted the nation in 1950, but this number had declined to 2.1 million by the 2003 farm census (data from the 2007 census is just now being published).  Ninety-one percent of the U.S. FARMS are small  Family Farms. This one kind of hits close to home for me. My Dad, Hippy Joe, and his two brothers grew up on a farm. The worked it right along side of their mother. They milked cows, they collected eggs from the hen-house, and they walked up hill, both ways, in the snow to school every day; barefoot. LMFAO!!! Sorry Dad, couldn’t resist. I really don’t know what to say other than it makes me sad. Farming helped build this country, now it seems like an un-appreciated endeavour unless you are part of some corporate farm conglomerate.

H/T to my friend Ann for getting me to actually think about this stuff.

This is courage.

Posted in General on July 29, 2010 by bofh69

What’s the meaning of courage?
Is it to fight a bull in a bullring?
Is it to drive a formula 1 car?
Is it to fly a fighter into combat?
Is it to practice free fall parachuting?
Is it bungee jumping, white water rafting?
Is it to gamble your salary on a coin toss?
Is it to insult the doorman in a bar?
Is it to insult your boss?
Is it to go on a defective ferris wheel?

Bullshit…that’s nothing. THIS is COURAGE!!!


H/T to Hippy Joe.