My doctor told me I could only have one beer a week. So I ordered one that would work for me…..
Archive for September, 2010
Hey gang, your ever rotten Bastard is back up and running. Fucking prick bastard malware/virus writers…..I digress. I was out of my normal groove for a few days, so it’ll take me awhile to get things somewhat back to normal on here. Wish I could say the same thing about my personal life, but that is another story. Bear with me; more incredibly offensive shit to follow….
Getting rid of a pesky little trojan on my PC at the moment, so no posts for a day or two. Symantec 10.1.8 isn’t shaping up to be much of a bug shield. I’ll have to talk to my vendor about that; Yankee.
Looks like it is fixable without a lobotomy. Posts coming as soon as I finish the bug bomb.
This can’t be too damned far from the truth. Stole it from Theo Spark.
Anyone of you who have read this blog over the years know two things about my life: my ex-wife, The Evil One, fucks me to death on child support, and I wouldn’t piss on the bitch if she was on fire. The Blonde and I have managed to maintain a fairly reasonable financial existence over the last 10 years. Sure, we have had our ups and our downs. If there is a couple out there that says they haven’t, then they are lying. Suffice it to say, we have managed; sometimes all on our own, sometimes with the assistance of family and friends. We have never really gotten to a point that is mysteriously known as “ahead” (whatever that means); the insanity of the child support/justice system in the great state of Oregon has seen to that.
Having said all that like everything is ok, let me tell you it isn’t, not by a goddamned stretch.
I am going to do my level-headed best in this post to explain a few things.
Fact #1: Mark Bastardclanlastname married Talley Bitchfromhell on October 22, 1994.
Fact #2: Mark Bastardclanlastname and Talley Bitchfromhell had a child, Allyssa Bastardclanlastname, on November 6, 1995.
Fact #3: The aforementioned idiots, Mark and Talley, decide it was a good idea to move to Oregon so The Evil One and our new offspring could be close to dumbshit’s family, as the rest of the Bastard clan is spread to the four winds. Sounded reasonable at the time.
Fact #4: The Bastard Clan arrives in Oregon on May 25, 1997 with much fanfare. Well, for Allyssa and the bitch anyways.
Fact #5: The Bastard immediately hated what he had done to himself.
Fact #6: The Bastard was stuck living with the Assholes-in-law while looking for work. At the time I was a welder, and that is the kind of job I was looking for. Bitch was also looking for work.
Fact #7: The Evil One finds a job and we move into our own place. Adios Assholes-in-law.
Fact #8: The Bastard still cannot find work. The Evil One believes it is better for our marital situation to ignore me completely and spend all of her time with her family. The Bastard gets incredibly pissed.
Fact #9: A break in the clouds; The Evil One’s step-father (later to become a friend…right up until I realized he was just like the rest of that fucked up crowd) wrangled me an interview at his place of employment for an IT position.
Fact #10: The Bastard scored his big break; new career as an IT guy! Yay ME!
Fact #11: We moved from Shithole, OR to Notsomuchofashithole, OR. The Bastard was happy. Almost. The Evil One was still ignoring me; to the point of almost pretending I wasn’t there.
Fact #12: The Bastard told The Evil One, verbatim, “If you won’t fuck me, I will find someone who will.”
Fact #13: The Evil One was stupid and didn’t listen. The Bastard did exactly what he said he was going to do.
Fact #14: It didn’t take long for the last part of Fact #13 to get back to The Evil One. I honestly could have cared less at this point. My only real concern was for Allyssa. Having said that, I handled it in a very poor manner. I should have just divorced the bitch and been done with it; one of my true regrets about that time period.
Fact #15: The straw that broke the proverbial camel’s back: Hippy Joe’s 60th birthday was fast approaching and his very significant other called to schedule a surprise visit for him from me and my sister. Without consulting the evil one, I said, “Sure! I’d love to come. Tell me when.” When informed of my decision, you’d have thought someone had robbed her purse. How DARE I spend the money to go to my Dad’s birthday!!! A man’s father or mother only has ONE 60th birthday. I didn’t feel that I needed to consult the aforementioned bitch, only inform her that I was going and on what date and time. That went over like a bucket of warm shit.
Fact #16: I went to Arizona for Hippy’s birthday and had one hell of a good time.