Archive for December, 2010

Friday Chuckle, 12-31-10

Posted in Friday Chuckles on December 31, 2010 by bofh69

LMFAO!!!!

(click to enlarge)

Batman calls it quits.

Posted in General on December 30, 2010 by bofh69

H/T to JC. THAT is some funny shit!

Friday Wednesday Chuckle, 12-29-10

Posted in Friday Chuckles on December 29, 2010 by bofh69

10 ways having children is like living in a fraternity house

10. There are half-full, brightly colored plastic cups on the floor in every room. Three are in the bathtub.

9. There’s always that one girl, bawling her eyes out in a corner.

8. It’s best not to assume that the person closest to you has any control over their digestive function.

7. You sneak off to the bathroom knowing that as soon as you sit down, someone’s going to start banging on the door.

6. Probably 80% of the stains on the furniture contain DNA.

5. You’ve got someone in your face at 3 a.m. looking for a drink.

4. There’s definitely going to be a fight.

3. You’re not sure whether anything you’re doing is right, you just hope it won’t get you arrested.

2. There are crumpled-up underpants everywhere.

1. You wake up wondering exactly how and when the person in bed with you got there.

H/T to Sparky

Sure sign of a really cold winter.

Posted in General on December 28, 2010 by bofh69

It’s late fall and the Indians on a remote reservation in South Dakota asked their new chief if the coming winter was going to be cold or mild.

Since he was a chief in a modern society, he had never been taught the old secrets. When he looked at the sky, he couldn’t tell what the winter was going to be like.

Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he told his tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the village should collect firewood to be prepared.

But, being a practical leader, after several days, he got an idea. He went to the phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked, ‘Is the coming winter going to be cold?’

‘It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold,’ the meteorologist at the weather service responded.

So the chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more firewood in order to be prepared.

A week later, he called the National Weather Service again. ‘Does it still look like it is going to be a very cold winter?’

‘Yes,’ the man at National Weather Service again replied, ‘it’s going to be a very cold winter.’

The chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every scrap of firewood they could find.

Two weeks later, the chief called the National Weather Service again. ‘Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?’

‘Absolutely,’ the man replied. ‘It’s looking more and more like it is going to be one of the coldest winters we’ve ever seen.’

‘How can you be so sure?’ the chief asked.

The weatherman replied, ‘The Indians are collecting a shitload of firewood’

H/T to Roy.

Good riddance!

Posted in Politics on December 27, 2010 by bofh69

Stole it from Theo Spark.

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A Cowboy fan’s wishes.

Posted in Sports on December 26, 2010 by bofh69

 

  • Jason Garrett has earned the right to coach a full season. If his coaching pedigree isn’t deep enough, his many years as an NFL player should carry him for at least a year, assuming of course there is a 2011-2012 season.
  • You have some players who desperately need to be cut. Monday, December 27th, the following players would be cut: Roy Williams (fucker can’t catch a cold), Mike Jenkins (plays when it is convenient for him), Marion Barber (was washed up two years ago and nobody noticed), Terence Newman (supposed super stud DB who fucks up more than he helps). Newman is the most overrated player on the team. He just ISN’T that good. Hello! Jason/Jerry, cut these douchebags and save yourself some trouble.
  • The following coaches would be released from their contracts effectively immediately: Dave Campo (you sucked at it before, and you still suck at it), and Bobby King. I think anyone, Cowboy fan or not, who has watched a single game of the ’10-’11 season will agree…..THIS MOTHERFUCKING DEFENSE SUCKS!!!! Campo goes because he is supposed to be the uber secondary coach, and isn’t. Those DB’s couldn’t cover my 92 year old grandmother and she is in a frickin’ wheelchair! King gets the boot because, aside from doing a great job with the linebacking corps, his other title is “Defensive Quality Control”…I see no QUALITY, and no CONTROL. That defense is horrendous and some heads need to roll.
  • Stephen McGee is a stud. Give the kid some bucks to stick around. He has moxy, and damned sure doesn’t appear to be afraid of anything.
  • Jerry, seriously, SHUT THE FUCK UP! I know you are worth a shit-ton of money, and YES, you own the team, but you are hurting it more than you are helping it. STEP ASIDE! You suck as a GM, and you always have. Fuck you, you won three Super Bowls because you had a coach (you weren’t smart enough to keep) who knew how to pick talent. Not just talent, but NFL talent. Oh, “What about Barry Switzer?” you might ask. My point exactly. You hired a douchebag hick from Oklahoma (Texas and Oklahoma don’t get along dipshit), proclaim him as the next best thing to sliced bread and promptly fall on your collective faces. Your MY team sucked Barry’s first year because he was unqualified for the position. You, being a man of pride arrogance, could not admit that mistake. Fortunately enough for your dumb ass, the players (Jimmy’s players) pulled one more Super Bowl out for you. Own the thing, throw money at it, be proud of your baby, but seriously, shut the fuck up and stay out of football matters. You really do suck at it.
  • Get well soon Tony.

What Christmas is REALLY all about.

Posted in General on December 25, 2010 by bofh69