And you call ME a redneck???!?

Shut yer pie hole till you’ve read this!

A month or so ago I realized I lost my winter gloves. My wife, being a very nice person, picked me up a new pair of black neoprene warmness. Sweet, right? I thought so.

These new gloves seemed to be working out really well. They fit better than the missing pair and are warmer to boot.

We have had a bit of winter weather here of late, so this morning I put on my new gloves to go scrape the windows and notice that the seam of the palm on one glove has split open; not all the way through, but open nonetheless. Well shit!

This evening rolls around and the wife and I do our nightly routine; we get caught up on the days events. Eventually I get around to mentioning the new gloves. “Shit. That sucks,” was the first thing out of her mouth, followed almost immediately by, “I can fix that.”

We are watching television and she brings out her sewing kit. I wasn’t really paying attention to what she was doing, until I seen something odd; she had a piece of string she was coloring with a marks-a-lot. WTMF?!?

“Uh, baby, what the fuck are you doing?” I am still having a hard time processing why it would be necessary to take a marker to string. “Well, this is nylon string and I only have it in white. Don’t worry, I have done this before. You’ll never know the difference. Once I get your glove sewed up, I’ll touch up what looks white.”


Yes folks, that’s right, turns out you have to add nylon string and a marks-a-lot to your redneck survival kit of duct tape and bailing wire.

And I am a redneck?!?!?

Btw, she done an excellent job of repairing the gloves, and true to her word, you sure as shit can’t tell it was sewn back together with string that was born white.

5 Responses to “And you call ME a redneck???!?”

  1. And BTW, I am NOT a redneck. I have just learned to make due with what I got around the house. And I do carry duct tape and bailing wire in my car. You never know when you might need it. 😀

  2. I happen to love the idea and I DO have permanent markers in ALL colors…in case I need to dye ANYTHING!

  3. Dang…that’s funny…left me in stitches!

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