Digital douchebags.

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This is seriously how I feel after wasting a half an hour to 45 minutes surfing all 100+ of my cable channels on a Saturday or Sunday looking for something that is even remotely entertaining or educational to watch.

<rant>

CABLE. TV. SUCKS. The fucking shit is phenomenally overpriced, they have mostly garbage for programming, and I have to pay for shit I don’t watch anyway in order to get the 6 or 7 things I actually give a shit about. What a fucking rip!!!

Why in hell can’t you sit down when you first start up your cable service with a check list, and check off the channels you know you are going to watch and pay for THOSE channels only?! I’ll tell you why; the cable companies know they have you by the short hairs, and they know all you can do is go to your computer and type up some ranting, Bud Light induced rage for your blog about what a bunch of ball licking douchebags they are, (Internet service probably provided by the aforementioned douchebags) or do without.  At the end of the day, you’re going to pay them for the opportunity to help you discover what an absolute idiot you are for paying them.

I have never had satellite television, but I can’t help but imagine the problem is magnified by a 10 multiplier. There you have 800+ channels and not a motherfucking thing to watch; again with no line item channel selection process.

Cable vs. satellite? Who wins? Well, you sure as fuck don’t, now do ya? It’s the law of supply and demand. They have the supply, you want it, and they can break you over like your ‘ol pappy’s shotgun and put the screws to your ass with no lube.

Fucking prick bastards anyway. SFP!

</rant>

8 Responses to “Digital douchebags.”

  1. cynical old man Says:

    No shit. One of the reasons why netflix is the way to go.

  2. I’ve been off cable since 2006. I can think of only one other choice I’ve made in my ENTIRE life that was just as good of an idea. Cable sucks balls man. It rots your brain. Not only is there never anything good on, it’s 98% depressing garbage anyhow. However, I do miss Mike Rowe…. that old sexy dirty bastard….

  3. I don’t blame you for saying that, I agree 100% man. I got so tired of being the whipping boy to a service I’ve been PAYING for that I ditched my cable and went with satellite. Dude, anyone still using cable or locked into a contract has my sympathy. I will NEVER use anything other than DISH Network again. In the four years I’ve been a DISH customer I pay less than I did for cable and I have more channels. I started working for DISH about a year ago, but I was referring people to their service LONG before I ever got a check from them. You really owe it to yourself, ANYONE that still cable, to at the very least check out dish.com and see what kind of new customer deal they can hook you up with.

  4. I have basic cable now and find that I watch more TV than I did with all that damn garbage on it. I love ION, which has stuff I really enjoy, criminal minds, without a trace and ghost whisperer. On the weekends they have good movies.

    BTW, the Calvin and Hobbes has fit you the entirety of your life. 😀

  5. I haven’t had cable since mid 2005. I don’t really miss it. I have a lot better ways to waste my time.

  6. Jarrod Carr Says:

    I will say satellite is cheaper than cable but it even takes longer to figure out there’s nothing on tv

  7. Geoff Whittier Says:

    Commiecast can EABOD. Dumped them many years ago. Dishnetwork or DirecTV is 1 million times better than commiecast. Better picture quality and more channels for less money.

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