Ten Ways of Knowing You’re in Texas

For my friends and family at home:

1. You can say 110 degrees without fainting.

2. You eat hot chilies to cool your mouth off.

3. You can make instant sun tea.

4. You learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.

5. The temperature drops below 95, you feel a bit chilly.

6. You discover that in July, it takes only 2 fingers to drive your car.

7. You notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.

8. Hot water now comes out of both taps.

9. Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, “What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?”

10. You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.

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