Old Person’s Perspective

 1. I’m not saying let’s go kill all the stupid people. I’m just saying let’s remove all the warning labels and let the problem work itself out.

2. I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People move out of the way much faster now.

 3. You can tell a lot about a woman’s mood just by her hands. If they are holding a gun, she’s probably very unhappy.

 4. You know that tingly little feeling you get when you really like someone you’ve just met? That’s common sense leaving your body.

 5. I don’t like making plans for the day. Because then the word “premeditated” gets thrown around in the courtroom.

 6. I didn’t make it to the gym today. That makes 1,500 days in a row.

 7. I decided to change calling the bathroom the John and renamed it the Jim. I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.

 8. What’s wrong with paranoid people who check behind shower curtains for murderers? If they find one, what’s the plan?

 9. Everyone has a right to be stupid. Politicians just abuse the privilege.

10. Old age is not as bad as I thought. It’s good to not give a shit anymore, plus you feel a lot happier just to wake up in the morning.

H/T to Yankee.

2 Responses to “Old Person’s Perspective”

  1. #10 especially!!! Age and past medical issues. It never ceases to amaze me that I have made it so long.

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