Rate the babe, 4-30-11

Tell me what ya think:

Bleg

Blegging: Blegging is asking the denizens of the blogosphere for assistance. Basically, begging via blog.

Those of you who read about my recent Friday from Hell are aware that I am without a cell phone. I would like to ask that anyone who has a Verizon (or unlocked) phone that they aren’t using, please get in touch with me using my Hotmail account: bofh69. We can negotiate prices and shipping and shit. Fucking Verizon wants me to sign up for an additional two years to upgrade the phone that felt the wrath of the Bastard. I just can’t afford to do that right now.

Thanks all.

Sticker shock.

From the ‘no shit’ files:

Stole it from Theo Spark.

Rate the babe, 4-23-11

Tell me what ya think:

Friday Chuckle, 4-22-11

The banker saw his old friend Tom, an eighty-year old rancher, in town. Tom had lost his wife a year or so before and rumor had it that he was marrying a ‘mail order’ bride.

Being a good friend, the banker asked Tom if the rumor was true.

Tom assured him that it was. The banker then asked Tom the age of his new bride to be.

Tom proudly said, ‘She’ll be twenty-one in November.’

Now the banker, being the wise man that he was, could see that the sexual appetite of a young woman could not be satisfied by an eighty-year- old man.

Wanting his old friend’s remaining years to be happy, the banker tactfully suggested that Tom should consider getting a hired hand to help him out on the ranch, knowing nature would take its own course.

Tom thought this was a good idea and said he would look for one that afternoon.

Wow! Legit results from a scientific study!

There was an article in the US World Report regarding the orderly behavior of the Japanese citizens and the absence of looting after the earthquake and the nuclear nightmare. 

Friday Wednesday Chuckle, 4-20-11

Now THAT is some funny shit!!

H/T to Roy.

New gas coupon.

I didn’t realize it, but these coupons are good for one gallon of gas at almost all retailers.  I have seen them around, but until recently never took advantage of them. I guess I never realized their actual worth.

You probably have one or two lying around somewhere. Now is the time to use them before they lose their value, and it’s too late!!

Folks from Tennessee are blonde?!

A good ‘ol Tennessee boy won a bass boat in a raffle drawing.  He brought it home and his wife looks at him and says, “What you gonna do with that?  There ain’t no water deep enough to float a boat within 100 miles of here.”  

He says, “I won it and I’m a gonna keep it.”

‘Ol boy’s brother came round to visit several days later.  He sees the wife and asks where his brother is.  

She says, “He’s out there in his bass boat,” pointing to the field behind the house.

The brother heads out behind the house and sees his brother sitting in a bass boat with a fishing rod in his hand down in the middle of a big field.  He yells out to him, “What are you doing?”

His brother replies, “I reckon I’m fishin’.  What does it look like I’m a doing?”

His brother yells, “It’s people like you that give people from Tennessee a bad name, makin’ everybody think we is stupid.  If I could swim, I’d come out there and whoop your ass!”

H/T to Roy.

Ya’ll remember that ‘ol bear?

I woke up in a remarkably good mood for a work day yesterday. It didn’t bother me to get up at 0600, and it was a Friday. I had to get gas, so I had to accelerate my normal morning routine, which oddly enough, didn’t bother me too much either. My disposition was Twilight Zone freaky good even though it was raining like a cow pissing on a flat rock outside. I should have known that was a warning sign that things were about to go right to fucking hell.

They did.